I’ve never written a post for a weblog before, so I don’t really know what I’m doing. This is not a new sensation for me. I often don’t know what I’m doing. I went to college with aspirations to become an opera singer. After two years of that, it became clear I didn’t know what I was doing, so I became a musical theater major. I’ve done pretty well with that degree, though it doesn’t have any bearing on my job as a staff writer for 252 Basics, where I, once again, don’t know what I’m doing.
I remember my first “professional” acting job out of college. I was hired as an extra on the short-lived TV series, Savannah. I didn’t know what I was doing there either, so I just tried to listen and follow the rules as best as I could. One of the big rules was that when the director called “Action” on set, you had to be very quiet off set. So when “Action” was called, I froze wherever I was. I was a stone statue. No one could accuse me of messing up a take. By the second day, I was getting pretty confident. Kind of cocky, really. I started to get the feeling that I did, in fact, know what I was doing. So when the director called, “Action” that day, I didn’t freeze. I thought, I’ll just have one sip of my soda. Nobody will hear anything. The problem is that the soda went down the wrong pipe and I started to choke. But I wouldn’t cough! Oh, no! I was prepared to die before I messed up a take on that soon-to-be-cancelled prime-time soap.
I did not die, evidently, but I learned a valuable lesson. For me, it’s better to kind of not know what I’m doing. It prevents my ego from getting in the way of the work. It forces me to rely on God for things that are beyond my talent level. And since the virtue for the month of April is humility, I freely admit that God deserves the credit for every good thing I do. So, while I write for 252, I pray a lot, I listen and follow the rules as best as I can, and I try not to choke to death.